12 Days of Wugu

Whether you call it Wugu District, New Taipei City, Wugs, The Wild Wild West, The 'Gu, or You-Live-Way-Out-There!?!, Wugu is my Taiwanese home-away-from-home.  It's has its pluses and minuses, but overall, I truly enjoy living in this town.  In keeping with the holiday season, here is a list of some of the wonders of the Wugs!

On the first day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me.....

An awesome fruit market.

Delicious, cheap fruit!  I didn't even know some of the fruits existed....

On the second day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

Countless betel nut stands.  We may not employ the highest-quality Betel Nut Beauties, but what we lack in looks, we make up for in numbers.  Wugu must have at least 15 betel nut stands just in the half-mile radius I frequent.  Go mouth cancer!

On the third day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

Stray dogs galore.  I won't even get into the piles of poop left behind by these mongrels.  The stray dogs scared me at first: I thought they were going to attack me.  But now, I hardly even notice them.  I still notice their poop.

Sure, why NOT sleep in the street?

Watching over their parking lot kingdom

On the fourth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

One million scooters.  Or, should I say, "motorcycles."  Mopeds are called motorcycles here; I go along with it.  While very frightening at first, riding on the back of a scooter is actually fun!  Well, with the right driver.....

Riding shotgun with Anna (who is a very responsible driver)

Scooter lane to the freeway!

A small fraction of the scooters parked outside my apartment building

On the fifth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me.....

A wonderful school!  I was extremely lucky to land at Shane Wugu!  The staff is amazing, the kids are great, and the school is brand new!  It's a BIG change from teaching special education in Milwaukee Public Schools.  I loved my job back at home, but this has been a nice change of pace.  Several people have asked me if I ever go to work here in Taiwan.  Apparently, I've given off the impression that all I do is have fun and play on Facebook.  While I feel like I'm on permanent vacation here, I do actually work.  Perhaps I'll take some pictures to prove it and dedicate an entire blog entry to dispelling this rumor......

On the sixth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me.....

An evening market.  Not a night market, like most areas in Taiwan have.  No, no, here in the Wugs, we go to bed early.  We have an evening market, that as far as I can tell is open from about 3pm-7pm. This is smack-dab in the middle of my teaching hours.  So, usually I miss out on the market fun, but when I get the chance, I head down the street to get my fill of fresh fruit, butchered animals, and cheap clothes!

Wugu Market

On the seventh day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

One strange gym.  The only gym in Wugu leaves much to be desired, but I have to take what I can get.  I'm almost always the only person working out, which is pretty nice.  Every once in a while, a little man will come in and walk slowly on the treadmill with his shirt off and his Crocs on.  Hott.  But the pool makes up for it!  We have an Olympic-sized outdoor pool (which, by the way, I swam laps in during the month of November!), and two indoor pools, along with a kiddie pool with slides, and several hot tubs and saunas.  Yeah, it's awesome.

Check out the equipment

Ooo lala

Way better than the pool at Bally's downtown Milwaukee....

On the eighth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

A rockin' karaoke bar.  There's not much (any) nightlife here in Wugu.  EXCEPT for the karaoke bar on the corner.  I went there with my friends to celebrate Thanksgiving, and we took over the place.  This wasn't difficult, since there were only two other patrons.  Oh, and I was told the next day that the karaoke bar is where prostitutes hang out.  So.... now I know.

Janet showing us all up

Why is this fun?

On the ninth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me.....

A lovely Riverwalk.  Now, coming from Milwaukee, which has quite a nice riverwalk, Wugu had a lot to live up to.  Wugu's river is small and rather stinky, but the path is nicely paved and well-lit.  At night, the lights even change colors.  OoooOOooooooo.  I like to run along the path when I can't manage to walk all the way to the gym.

Entering the river path

Along the river

Wugu!!

On the tenth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

An envy-worthy apartment.  Many of my friends have teeny tiny one-room apartments that make my freshman dorm room seem spacious.  But not me.  One perk of living out here in the boonies is that rent is cheap and space is available.  My roommates and I have a large loft apartment with a full kitchen, laundry room, and one and a half bathrooms.  And I pay a fraction of what those city-dwellers pay!  Yeah, go ahead and be jealous.

My apartment building... I'm on the 4th floor

Still standing with Wisconsin :)

Luxury livin'

My bedroom! And that's a balcony, not a shower.

View of Wufu Road

On the eleventh day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

Two wonderful roommates!  I could not have asked for better roommates than Abi and Muni!  These two girls have taken very good care of me, and I am so lucky to have them as my friends.

On the twelfth day of Wugu, Taiwan gave to me....

Celebrity status!  As the token foreigner in Wugu, I spent the first two months here getting stared and pointed at as I walked down the street every day.  If you know me at all, you know I don't mind having all the attention on me, so this really didn't bother me.  Now my novelty has worn off a bit, but small children still seem to be perplexed by my pale skin and extreme height.  Luckily, the people here in Wugu are generally friendly and at least pretend to want to help me out with my very poor Chinese.  It's fun living in this "small town" and getting to know the people up and down the street.  I don't actually know anyone's name, but I look forward to saying ni hao to the noodle stand lady and the old couple who sit outside the 7-11 every day.

I'm a real Wuguian!  Or is it Wugite?

Biathlon Abroad

I’ve done a few triathlons in the past couple of years, and I enjoy the competition and feeling of accomplishment at the finish line.  When I decided to come to Taiwan to teach, I added “Triathlon in a foreign country” to my Bucket List.  

So, when my boss told me about an annual event right here in Wugu, I was stoked.  The  2011 National Wugu Highway Biathlon Invitational is an event that includes biking 22km along the 64 East Expressway through New Taipei City (they closed the freeway!) and running 8km through the streets of Wugu (they did NOT close the streets....).  I signed up, paid my $25US (only $25!!!!), borrowed a bike and helmet, and started getting ready.

My 5:30am alarm was more than a little painful -- I’m used to sleeping until AT LEAST 9am these days.  But up and at ‘em!  My two roommates, Abi and Muni, came along to be my cheerleaders, along with several other friends from their church.  I was an official member of the Wugu Church team, matching jerseys and all! 

My cheerleaders: Nick, Abi, Muni, and Oscar

Team Wugu Church

I was bib number 914, and I was in the last heat to start biking.  As I rounded the corner to start my ascent up the freeway onramp, I quickly realized that the mountain bike I borrowed from my landlord was not going to be quite as fast as my beloved road bike at home.  I also realized that the view from this bike ride was going to be amazing, and perhaps speed was not what I really wanted.  The 64 East Expressway is an elevated highway, so I could see out over the skyline of Taipei and wonderful Wugu below.  

As I cycled on down the 22km bike course, I looked out over the mountains of Taiwan, temples tucked into the valleys, cemeteries built on the mountainsides, and low-hanging clouds covering the mountaintops.  Beautiful!  I peddled harder and harder on that Giant mountain bike, and still people passed me on their speedy bikes.  But I didn’t care that I wasn’t making good time; all I could think was, “I should have brought my camera!”

At one point, the expressway tunneled through a mountain.  How many people can say they’ve ridden their bike through a mountain in Taiwan?  Well, I guess all the people in the biathlon can..... but I’m one of them!!  As I biked back towards the transition area, I got another view of the Taipei skyline.  There I was, doing one of my favorite activities -- biking -- on an elevated freeway in Taiwan, looking out at Taipei 101 in the distance.  It was decided:  This was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in my life!

I rolled down the exit ramp in my best tuck form that I could muster, and there were my cheerleaders shouting encouragement and taking pictures!  If I wasn’t already on a biking high, that would have given me all the motivation I needed to get ready to run! 

Thumbs up

The weather was perfect for running.  It was cool, overcast, with a slight breeze.  Did I mention that this race was in November?  Couldn’t ask for this weather in Wisconsin and expect not to be laughed at.  The running course took us on a couple of loops through the streets of Wugu.  Not the most exciting or picturesque course, but the streets were lively and lined with people cheering on the racers!  I set my pace with a woman just ahead of me, who I kept calling wo de pao bu pengyou.  That probably doesn’t translate exactly, but in my head, in my own version of broken Chinese, it means “my running friend.”

Run, Forrest!  Run!

I ran the course, only walking through the water stations, and when I noticed that I was nearing the finish line, I realized that this was the farthest I had ever run in my entire life!  I’ve done 5k races without walking, but not 8k.  Maybe it’s not that impressive, but I was happy with that little accomplishment.  I looked at my watch and saw that if I gave it an extra kick, I could finish the race in under 2 hours.  I gave it all my effort and beelined towards the finish line. 

The end is near! 

Ha! Look, my feet don't even leave the ground at the same time!  I'm basically walking.

My cheerleaders were waiting for me at the end, and they were so supportive and happy for me!  I crossed the line and was handed a card telling me I was finisher number 341.  Now, I’m not sure how they decided that because I started at number 914 and I know for sure I did not pass 600 people.  But oh well, I’ll take it!  

Winner, winner!  Chicken dinner!

The race wasn’t chip timed, but I had my watch and kept up with the splits.  My “official” time was 2:00:56, with splits 1:04:21 bike, 0:03:39 transition, and 0:52:35 run.  

My exercise high was in full effect the rest of the day.  Funny how that exhilaration can last far beyond the finish line.  

The race was a biathlon, not a triathlon, but I’m going to take some personal liberties and go ahead and check that off my Bucket List.

日月潭 Sun Moon Lake

After learning our lesson about proper planning from our trip to Taroko Gorge, my friends and I came up with a true plan to visit beautiful Sun Moon Lake.

Sun Moon Lake is the largest body of fresh water in Taiwan, and it’s a popular weekend destination for Taiwanese and foreigners alike.  We took a bus from Taichung and were proud of ourselves for arriving at our destination at a decent hour.  It was still daylight, so already we’d made progress.

After a lovely lunch of assorted vegetable items (we have two vegans in our gang), we sauntered down the cobblestone streets of Shuieshe Village to the docks.  A little old lady sold us tickets for the hop-on-hop-off boat tour, and off we sailed. 

Sailing on Sun Moon Lake

Dock

At the first dock, we squirmed through throngs of tourists and photogs all trying to get the perfect pic of the lake.  I saw a trail marked on a map that lead to a temple, and it was surprisingly easy to convince everyone to start walking!  

Looking out over Sun Moon Lake

The trail to Syuanzang Temple

The trail took us up and around part of the mountains surrounding the lake.  At one point, we walked through a betel nut farm.  But we dared not steal a single nut.

Danger, Will Robinson!

Finally, we reached Syuanzang Temple.  The courtyard of the temple held a fortune-telling machine, a la the Zoltar machine in Big.  I put my money in for a wish, but I have no idea what my fortune says.  Another reason to learn Chinese...... 

Zoltar

At Syuanzang Temple

Syuanzang Temple

We boarded the boat again and rode to the next stop, the Aboriginal village of Itashao.  I’m not sure if we just missed the Aboriginal area or what, but mostly it was food stands and souvenir shops.  No problem, though.  We loaded up on street food and millet wine :) 

Millet Wine Rainbow

Aboriginals?

Potty Training

On a recent 3-hour train ride, the 8 gallons of tea I drank that day came back to haunt me.  As a general rule, I try not to use the bathroom on modes of public transportation.  But I just couldn’t wait.

I stood in line for my turn in the bathroom, took one look inside the door, and then turned around and went directly back to my seat.  The bathroom was a squatter, a squatty potty, a nasty hole in the floor where people pee and poop.  Gross.

What’s the big deal? you may naively ask.  Well, let me tell you a little bit about the ol’ squat toilet.

It’s gross.  Basically, it’s a hole in the floor, where you would normally put a toilet.  The idea is that you stand over the hole, squat way down, and try your best to pee, not pee on your clothes, and not fall over into other people’s pee, all at the same time.  Why not just put a toilet in?  Seems like the same amount of work for the contractors.

Anyways, up to this point, I had done a solid job of avoiding the squatter at all costs.  Many a day, I had held my bodily functions for an extra hour or so until I could find a “real” toilet.  I just didn’t have the skills required to use the squatty potty.

I mean, I know how to squat.  I know how to pee.  And I know how to not pee on my clothes.  But combining all three?  Baffling!  

So there I was, on the train, 8 gallons of tea sloshing around in my bladder, threatening to force its way out with every jolt and rumble of the movement of the train.  I was not going to make it another hour.  I turned to my friends for help.  What was I doing wrong?  Why was I the only person who seemed incapable of using the bathroom in Taiwan?  Obviously I was missing some key element of the process.  Millions of people pee this way everyday.

After getting some tips from my friends (who of course thought it was ridiculous that I had lived in Taiwan for 2 months and still didn’t know how to use the bathroom like a big girl), I mustered up my courage and headed back into the depths of the train toilet.  I rolled up my jeans (so they didn’t drop into the puddles of strangers’ urine) and did my business.  I even managed to avoid getting splash-back from my own pee on my feet!

Ugh.

Feeling relieved in more ways than one, I gingerly headed back to my seat.  I peed in the potty!  Mommy and Daddy would be so proud!

Taroko Gorge: The trip that almost was.

Today’s lesson: Plan ahead.

In honor of Taiwan’s 100th birthday, we had a three-day weekend.  Perfect chance to get out of Taipei and see the other wonders of Taiwan.  Ever since my Lonely Planet guide arrived in the mail back in July, I knew that Taroko Gorge was at the top of my list for must-sees in Taiwan.  So, I put the idea out to my friends, and then completely stopped doing any sort of planning.  I let everyone else take over.

Well, maybe my poor-planning Karma came back to haunt me.  The weekend was a BLAST, but I’m going to have to leave Taroko Gorge on my Taiwan Bucket List.  Never officially made it there.....

After wandering around the Taipei Main Station for a while, our motley crew managed to buy train tickets and make it to the correct platform.  

At Taipei Main Station, platform 4a

We boarded the train, and three hours later, we arrived in Hualien, the nearest town to Taroko National Park.  It was pitch black, pouring down rain, and we didn’t have a hotel reservation.  (Remember -- no plan here.)  Oh, and I forgot my umbrella.

Megan and Carys in the pouring rain

We were lucky enough to have a random 7/Eleven dude point us to a hotel across the street, where we decided to save $3US each and pile 6 grown adults into one room with two double beds.  More money for beer, I guess. 

And beer money we did spend!  We dropped our stuff and ran down the block to the KTV, dodging stray dogs along the way.  If you know me at all, you know how much I enjoy having all the attention on me, so naturally, karaoke is one of my favorite activities.  This being Taiwan, there were only a handful of English songs to choose from, but somehow we made the fun last for the entire 3 hours we signed up for.  Here’s just one sample of our amazing skills: 

My Asian karaoke debut complete, we decided the fun surely could not stop yet, so we headed to the bar.  It was a mere 5-minute death-defying cab ride away.  Perhaps we should have called it a night, but instead we stayed out “raging” until daybreak.  Ugh.  I told myself last time that I would NEVER EVER stay out at the bar until 6am again.  Well, this time I mean it.  I’m too old for that crap.

Since we partied ourselves into oblivion, no one really cared that our sleeping arrangements included one person on a padded bench, two people sharing each rock-hard double bed, and one person huddled at the foot of one bed.  We slept till noon.

After showering and convincing ourselves we were not going to die of hangover-itis, we embarked on our journey to Taroko..... the whole reason for this trip.  Unfortunately, it was already 2pm, it took us a while to figure out how to buy a bus ticket to the park (thank God Carys speaks Chinese), and then we had to wait an hour for the next bus to come.  And the bus ride itself was an hour long.  We didn’t arrive at the park until 4:30pm or so.  Oops.

It was still raining, and we had heard that the actual gorge was closed to visitors due to the danger of rock slides because of all the recent rain.  And it was going to be dark soon.  We still wanted to do some sort of Taroko activity, so we marched through the little town and up to the entrance to the park.  We found the Welcome Center closed, so we chose a trail from the map and started hiking.

Heading into Taroko National Park

Soon we discovered we were in over our heads.  Again, planning was not our strong point this weekend.  Some of the members of our group were wearing flipflops, so real hiking was out of the question.  It was raining, which made us a bit miserable.  And then we discovered the spiders.

You may remember my encounter with the spiders on Maokong Mountain.  These were their jungle brothers.  Huge, truly huge spiders hanging in massive webs just above the average height of the frequent hikers. 

Ah! Spiders!

Well, I’m taller than the average hiker, so as darkness fell upon us out in the wilderness, I became concerned for my wellbeing.  I did not want to walk unknowingly into a low-hanging spider web.  So as we made our way back down the trail to get out of the way of the impending doom of the woods, I walked doubled over at the waist, crouching down so as not be the tallest one in the group.  Call me cowardly, but someone else can get spiders in their hair.  No thanks.  I like being alive.

Safely at the bottom of Spider Mountain, we meandered back into town to wait for the bus back to Hualien.  That was the end of our time in Taroko National Park.  A whopping 1.5 hours.  Most of which I spent in not-so-quiet terror that arachnids were about to eat my face.

While we waited for the bus, we stepped into a little cafe, where the owner was serving millet wine coffee.  Basically, I think he took millet wine and reduced it down to a syrup and then poured it in coffee.  I ordered it cold, and it was .... not undrinkable.  The others ordered it hot and ended up with curdled alcoholic coffee.  Yum.  

Iced, mildly-disgusting millet wine syrup coffee 

Hot, super-nasty millet wine syrup coffee

When we arrived back in Hualien, we were famished.  We went into a restaurant where we had the most bizarre ordering experience.  Here’s a short reenactment.  Please bear in mind that the waitress spoke mostly Chinese, which only adds to the humor of the situation:

Us: Can we see the menu?

Waitress:  Sure, here is ONE menu.  I know there are six people at the table, but you can share one menu.  I will stand here at the end of the table and wait for you to order.  Please order now.  Go.

Conor: Can we have a pot of tea for the table?

Waitress: Sure, but I’ll only bring you one cup.

Conor: Can I have a lemonade with my meal?

Waitress: No, you idiot. You already ordered tea.

Janet:  I’d like an order of spicy tofu with my meal.

Waitress: Ok, crazy lady.

Me:  Can I have the Kung Pao Chicken, please?

Waitress: That’s way too spicy for you.

Me: No really, it’s ok.

Waitress: Whatever....

Megan:  I’d also like an order of spicy tofu.  Oh, and some noodles, please.

Waitress:  MORE spicy tofu????  There’s already one order!  You want TWO orders of tofu????

Megan: Yes, I’d like my own.

Vanessa:  Actually, I’d also quite like an order of spicy tofu.

Waitress:  Wait.  Three?  Three orders of tofu?  What??

Us: Yes, three.

Waitress, to Megan: Would you like taste with your noodles?  They don’t come with taste.

Megan:  I’m assuming you mean sauce, so yes, I’d like some taste on the side.

Conor: Can we get some more cups for the tea?  There are six people and only one cup.

Waitress: No.

Thank God the food was delicious because we were exhausted after just ordering.  And I spared you the part when we had to pay.....  One more example of how much I need to learn Chinese.

Of course we had no plan for the rest of the evening, but we all agreed it would be best NOT to relive our previous night’s shenanigans at the KTV.  We went to get massages instead!  My masseuse had little steel nubs implanted under the skin on his thumb knuckles, so when he rubbed my feet, he really ground into the nerves and tendons and stuff.  It was painful, but the good kind of pain.  And he taught me some Chinese along the way, so all-in-all, a wonderful experience.  Fei chang hao!

Pre-massage soak

We spent the rest of the night relaxing in our hotel, watching a delightful movie called The Bounty Hunter.  We laughed. We cried. We all agreed: this movie sucks.  Who thinks these plots up??  Still, a wiser choice than drinking beer and saki until 6am.

The next morning, we woke up “early” (11am) and headed to the train station to go back to Taipei.  Silly us, we didn’t plan ahead (!) and the trains were packed with other human beings who were also traveling on the holiday weekend.  The audacity!  We all got tickets for the same train, but there were no seats left.  Standing room only.  

The next three hours dragged on as we hunkered down together in the train bathroom waiting area.  The six people from our group, plus 4-6 other unlucky no-seat passengers, sat, squatted, and stood completely in the way of people getting on the train, getting off the train, attempting to pass through to another car, or using the bathroom. 

Our cozy little corner

It may seem as though the weekend was an endless montage of frustrating events full of disappointment and misery.  But no.  It was a comedy-packed weekend full of “we should have planned ahead” and “we’ll look back on this and laugh.”  I definitely want to go back and actually SEE Taroko Gorge.  But I’ve learned that I need to plan things out a bit better. 

Oh, and that Gerard Butler has a weird mouth.

Home Sweet Taiwan

Yikes, long time no blog.  

People have been asking what I’ve been up to lately, since I’ve been absent from the blogosphere.  I don’t have a very exciting answer to that question, which I guess means that I’ve been settling into a routine here.  I feel as though I have become more comfortable living in Taiwan.  More like it’s my home, not just some foreign place I’m visiting for a while.  Hooray!

I still don’t speak any sort of useful Chinese.  Aside from a (very) few basic words, phrases, and food orders, I continue to rely on pointing and gesturing.  Now, if you’re like Carey Van den Busch and know that I’m an excellent “handsy-talker”, you may think that this talent is serving me well.  No.  I MUST learn Chinese soon.  I went this weekend to sign up for free weekly lessons at the public library, but the class was full.  Lucky for me, my Teaching Assistant wants to do a language exchange.  She’ll teach me Chinese, and I’ll help her improve her English.  I’m VERY excited about this.  At some point, beef noodles (the only thing I know how to order) are going to get old.....

Speaking of food, I have fully embraced the starchy, starchy diet of the Taiwanese.  This is a common conversation in my life:

Me:  “I’m hungry.  Let’s get something to eat.”

Others:  “What would you like to eat?  Rice?  Noodles?”

Me:  “How about something with vegetables?”

Others:  “Oh, ok.  How about vegetable noodles?  Or vegetables with rice?”

Me:  “Ummmmm......”

Salad isn’t really an option.   Oh, unless you like salad covered in mayonnaise “dressing.”  It’s ok, though.  I rinse it all down with about 12 cups of tea per day.  I haven’t had a Diet Coke since I bought one at Chicago O’Hare.  I never see Diet Coke in the stores or at restaurants.  Coke Zero is available, but we all know that’s not the same.  But the tea!  So many varieties!  Jasmine tea, Oolong tea, green tea, black tea, lemon tea, milk tea, yogurt tea.....  I’m drinking my way through the 7-Eleven refrigerator section.  ALMOST as fun as drinking my way through the tap beers at Bar Louie. :)

The one part of my life here that is starting to bother me is my sleeping schedule.  Three days a week I have to be at work by 1:30pm.  The other two days I don’t have to clock in until 4pm!  This may sound wonderful, but it is wreaking havoc on my sanity.  I knew that my schedule would be different when I moved here, but I imagined myself spending my mornings being productive, going to the gym, maybe doing some sight-seeing.  No.  It is all I can do to drag my bones out of bed at 11am.  What am I, 15 again?  What adult with a real-life job sleeps until almost noon on a regular basis???  I guess one who works second-shift.  Anyways, everyday I tell myself I will wake up at 9am.  I even set my alarm.  I hit the snooze bar until 9:30 or 10 before resigning to the fact that I will absolutely NOT get up.  I turn the alarm off and roll over back to sleep.  Then at night, I tell myself my bedtime is midnight, and it’s lights out!  The couple times I have actually followed my own rule, I have tossed and turned until 2am or later.  This, in turn, makes getting up with the 9am alarm impossible, and so the cycle continues.  So. Much. Sleeping.

Uh, now you all know the REAL reason I haven’t blogged in two weeks.....

Maokong Mountain

Weary of the hustle and bustle of the city, Amber and I decided to trek out to Maokong Mountain with her coworker Jesse.  Just outside the city, at the end of the brown MRT line, we boarded a gondola to ride to the top in style.  

Gondola with Taipei 101 in background

The gondola ride was smooth and picturesque.  I could do a lot of describing, but I think I’ll just post pictures instead.  That will save me at least 1000 words. 

Taipei from Gondola 

More Taipei

Gondola

Taipei 101 towering above city

Maokong Mountain

At the end of the line, we walked down some random road in search of tea.  Maokong has a history of growing tea, but these days I think the big money is in selling tea and tranquil views to the tourists.  Happy to play right into their hand, we settled into a tea shop and ordered up some oolong tea, tea-infused rice, and a radish omelet.  

View from the tea shop 

Tea!

I'm too tall for this table

After drinking our weight in oolong, we hiked further up the road to a Tianen Temple.  This is where we discovered the mammoth spiders that have haunted me ever since.  I swear, these arachnids are stealthy suckers.  I easily could have walked into several webs and been eaten alive, had I not been on hyper-alert the rest of the trip on the mountain.  Stephanie, you might not want to continue reading this blog.... pictures to follow. 

Along the road on Maokong 

Tianen Temple

Check out those fangs!!

Not an illusion.  It's really that big.

On the way back down the mountain, we stopped at the Zhinan Temple.  Also known as the “Temple of a Thousand Steps,” this temple used to only be accessible by walking up 1200 steps.  Luckily, we took the new-fangled gondola and then walked up a ramp. 

Zhinan Temple from the gondola 

Zhinan Temple

Zhinan Temple

More Zhinan Temple

As we were about to leave, I noticed that people were getting blessed inside the temple.  Feeling guilty about my heathen life, I hopped in line to be cleansed.  I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes while the Taoist man whipped something like horse hair all around me and then flicked water at me from a plant. 

Gettin' blessed

After a few moments, he called someone else over and asked him to translate a message to me: “Your body is unclean and you need to pray to be purified.”  Whaaaaaaat?!?  I thought for sure he was going to comment on how wonderful and bright my aura was, not that I was basically dead and rotting inside.  Why, Buddha, why??

He sent me over to another lady, who again prayed over me, and instructed me to drink some holy water.  Oh, and she said to be clean, I’d need to drink the water everyday and pray three times.  

Second cleansing.  Is that lady laughing at my impurities??

They blessed me again (this time it was more like a massage, so already, I was feeling more sun-shiny inside) and sent me on my way with the holy water.  

Be gone, demons! 

Holy water

I haven’t once remembered to drink my holy water.  I think I’d be more inspired if it tasted more like beer, and less like the sad sad reminder of my dark and scary heart.